I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
