So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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