sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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