My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Randomize
