He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
