She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
