well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
