your thong is hanging out like whoa
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
