it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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