so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
