I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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