Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
