508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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