yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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