This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
There's even glitter on my cock...
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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