Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
This girl is more easily done than said...
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
