Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
