Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Ladies don't puke and tell
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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