i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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