i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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