Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
