his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
