I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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