i just wanna soil my oats bro
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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