OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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