will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
