It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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