his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
