i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
