Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
