do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
