she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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