Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
