Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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