I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
