And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
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