Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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