He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
