Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
