There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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