then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
