I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Found the puke drawer
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
