so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
