And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
