I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
