I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
