brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
