She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
