Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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