omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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