do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
