Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
