I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
